Saturday, July 7, 2012

Awful Off-Season


Now, as I told my friend Andrew, everyone gets a little restless in the offseason. I myself have suffered a bout of cfb apathy in the wake of an extremely disappointing and mildly befuddling Sooner season. But I'll have to wallow more in-depth some other time.

Apparently I'm not the only Sooner who's a little "off" this summer. A picture of a cocktail dress-clad Kenneth Cole Stills (name changed to protect the indecent) has been making the rounds on the Internets, to the delight of non-Sooners everywhere. I'm not sure which is more disturbing: the plunging sweetheart neckline, or the dreamy-eyed, coquettish half-smile.

But the REAL embarrassment of this lag period belongs to none other than our (ex) bffs, the Texas A&M Aggies as they make their (self-)ceremonious foray into the world of the big, bad SEC. Loathe them though I do, they really are a kickass conference.

The Aggies have loudly proclaimed how excited they are to leave behind and forget about a team that just so happens to be the subject of their "War Hymn" (read: cultish fight song). They cast off the Big 12 like an ugly ex in favor of a hotter, better model. But, when you feel like you don't have the upper hand in the relationship anymore, sometimes you come off as, shall we say, a little desperate?


For a team so eager to declare its independence, there sure is a lot of pandering going on here. Maybe I'm quick to judge, but I'm just saying, I can't see myself throwing up a Hook 'Em H*rns (can't even write it) or throwing on some Oregon garb had we joined the Pac 12, even if their uniforms are really, really freakin' cool.

So good luck, to dear old Texas Aggies. I'll leave the parting shot to my main man, Bob Stoops.

"When you look at what these guys have done, we are bringing in two ranked teams at the end of the year and the two that left I don't know that they were."

Now that's a cool customer.



Don't forget your power towel!!