Golden Globes '12

Another year, another Globes. The ceremony itself was pretty droll- Ricky Gervais kept alluding to how edgy and controversial he is, without actually doing anything edgy or controversial. And every speech seemed very contrived, with an obnoxious blend of forced jokery and forced humility. But really, I have no interest in winners and sore losers (I'm lookin' at you, Elton John).

Anywho, on to the real show! The red carpet! I gotta say, I was pretty darn pleased with this year's offerings. There was a great range of awesome and awful. This year, I will not be breaking it down into best and worst-- in the spirit of the Occupy movement, we wouldn't want to further stratify the (style) haves and (style) have-nots, right? But really, I think my good/bad leanings will stand pretty obviously on their own. If not, I'm more than happy to clarify. Let's get this party started.

Lea Michele

Whaaaaat has happened to our lovable (albeit completely obnoxious) Rachel Berry circa Season 1 Glee!? Her look is too mature, and weirdly dated. I guess the best word would be "overworked". She doesn't look youthful or natural- to paraphrase Michael Kors, it's very "80's Power B*tch". No me gusta.

Reese is usually a favorite of mine, but she looks a bit disheveled this year. The hips are too dramatic for her svelte figure and her hair is too casual for this special event.

Now there is something to be said for the polish and sophistication of a high bun. But go too high, and pair it with a Starburst yellow gown, and Bam! All you see is a pineapple-themed Carmen Miranda. Not so good, Maria Menounos.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. This was your CHANCE! Your foray back into pop culture relevancy after running away with Freddie Prinze Jr. to live off the glory of the late 90s. This dress is a bulky wedding dress mess that got turned into a Girl Scouts project for the Tie Dye Bonanza patch. But dangit, she still looks adorable!

Raise your hand if you loved Piper Perabo in Coyote Ugly... yup I bet that's all of you! She, like the aforementioned and aforedissed Sarah Michelle Gellar is totally adorable, yet looking a fright! All I can think of is a giant iridescent gumdrop. And the waist and bustline are atrocious! But you can tell that she is totally having fun with it anyways, so good for her.

Pocahontas speaks German! The back is fierce, but this would have been better for the Met Costume Institute Gala.

The atrocious waistline claims another victim. The typically flawless Freida Pinto is swallowed whole by this ill-fitted gown.

This isn't my fave- like, don't love... but when you go from this to the picture above, serious props are in order.

Claire Danes looks stunning. Take note, 90s darlings. THIS is how you make a re-entrance. The Grecian silouhette paired with modern geometric patterns make this a fashion-forward statement piece. It's simple, sophisticated, and flat-out magical.

I actually don't know how crazy I am about the short front piece, but nobody does ethereal better than Charlize Theron. She looks flawless.

Ohmigoodness. I do NOT like Angelina Jolie, but she had that jaw-dropping, 'wow' factor look. She's been criticized in the past for being too much of a one-note in her gown selections, but for two years in a row, she's pulled out some major stops. The ivory and crimson (or crimson and cream, if you will :)) is striking. The crimson gives just the right amount of punch to this classically draped piece.

And last but not least, y'all know I don't care to critique the men. Seriously, how do you judge one black suit from another? But one man was earning his Sexiest Man of the Year status big time. Bradley Cooper, you are one hot hot man. Congrats on being so fine. That's worth it's weight in Globes Gold.