8 Things I Wanna Know about Football

Here we are, people, on the precipice of greatness- FOOTBALL SEASON! Which brings me to the importance of the number 8. Why 8? Simple. Football season means that a certain #8 (aka my future husband) is about to start his HOF-worthy career. Go Rams (blasphemy?)! More importantly, today marks only 8 more days until the Sooners blaze the glory path to the ever-elusive #8 (national championship, that is). So in that spirit, I present 8 questions/musings/comments I have in preparation for football season.

1. Can we own up to the media love we are receiving? While I appreciate the respect being given to my beloved team, we have so much to prove this season. At least we have a bowl win in the first time in forever under our belts, so I suppose that's a good jumping off point. But will we FINALLY have the will, the swagger, and the ability to get the job done in the face of adversity? OU-TX is never a cakewalk, at least not in the last 5-ish years. And College Station can be rough terrain. I want to be deserving of the love, dangit! But it all means nothing if the on-field performance doesn't back it up.

2. Are A&M and Nebraska as good as advertised? I feel like any time they are given high expectations in the pre-season, it never ends well for them. I mean I know Jerrod Johnson is really good and is supposed to have some great weapons at his disposal, but I am skeptical. Maybe I've heard too much "this will be the year" from the kool-aid drinkers in Aggieland. I will not deny we could have a tough time in College Station. We Sooners know well enough the benefits of home turf, and we also know how to fold on the road. Hopefully this will not be a lethal combo for us. As for Nebraska, the Big 12 North is just so danged irrelevant, it's kind of like, who cares. They are not even going to be in the Big 12,* come 2011. I sure hope they beat Texas, though.

3. What kind of Landry can we expect to see this season? I don't mean physically, as he as already announced he will be sporting his famed (creeper) 'stache. Whether this is to the delight or chagrin of most sooner fans, I'm not sure. I personally am on the fence. I guess it will depend on his perfomance. Which leads me to my point. We have seen a lot of different things out of Landry- good mobility, staring down the receivers, good throws, bad decision-making. This kid ran the gamut last year- and who could blame him, really. Between a dinged up o-line and the fact that he was never meant to start last year, you have to give him some slack. Now that he has had an entire off-season to develop as the go-to starter, can he live up to our expectations? Can he mature, and go through his reads more smoothly and make better decisions? A more cohesive line should hopefully give him some legitimate time. We'll see if he is worthy of the 'stache. For now, the 'stache power remains Paul Thompson's domain. Epic Stache.

4. Speaking of having or not having time to throw, how will poor $50 million Sammy B. fare against some seriously mean NFL D's. Remember how I said that teams cannot rely on the talents of one player? Yeah... I'm really scared for him. He's proven he is excellent and that the game is starting to click for him at the NFL speed. But when teams are going full force in real season action,things could go bad for him, considering his, shall we say, lackluster supporting cast. It could be a nerve-wracking season- I just hope he stays healthy or they pull him if things get too dire. Just lookin' out for my man.

5. What will college football be like without Timmy Tebow? Pete Carroll? Leach the Pirate? The McCoy- Shipley roommate love affair? We are losing a cast of characters this year. Good thing Urban Meyer flipped the switch one day after deciding to "take a break," or we would hardly know who to hate/make fun of anymore. And we still have Mack. *phew*

6. Why on God's green earth is Ohio State ranked so highly? They manage to disappoint every year. Terell Pryor is incredibly inconsistent, and when it's time to go bowling, Ohio State just can't seem to keep up with the SEC. I know, those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stone footballs, but seriously.

7. How many more teams will the NCAA start to investigate? Every other day you hear violation this, probation that. Who will be left that's not being probed? We JUST got off probation. Let's keep it squeaky clean, please. And for heaven's sake, stay AWAY from Deion Sanders.

8. What is UUUUUP with our kicking game? It's not too good to be holding open tryouts the WEEK before the first game of the season. Not exactly a vote of confidence to the kickers or the fans. While I do get a kick (pun!) out of Jimmy Stevens' scared-to-death face when lining up, I'd rather just have a nearly-guaranteed 3 points. Hopefully we can get this aspect of our game in place in the next, oh, 8 days! I don't want it to be make or break, but it definitely could be.

Allright, I think I'm definitely ready for the season to start- let the posturing, debating, and banner-flying begin... hopefully with a little bit of football being played too :)

A Fantasy Football Manifesto

While I was at work yesterday, some of the gentlemen were discussing their excitement over upcoming fantasy football drafts. Being the fantasy-hater that I am, I chimed in with a groan, and a rousing "I HATE fantasy football!" Now the recently-hired gentleman (who clearly does not know me at all) inquires about my hostile response. He says something to the effect of, "What's your hang-up, are you mad that it's taking your man away from you or something?" Boy, does this kid have a few things to learn!!! Don't you worry, though. I set this heathen straight reaaaaaaal quick.

...Which brings me to my thoughts about fantasy football and why I have so much disdain for it. My manifesto, if you will:

Football, by its very nature, is the consummate team sport. No other sport relies so heavily on the strength of the entire team- one player cannot lift a team onto his shoulders and carry it to success (see: 2009 Sooners). The game consists of 11 men on each side of the ball, all working as cogs in a greater machine to get the job done.

Many fans, such as myself have grown up watching the National Football League (I had no attachment to college football until I went off to college). Many are indoctrinated to follow a certain team (for me, the Dallas Cowboys), virtually since birth. Your team is YOUR team, for better or worse, through drug scandals and jersey-waving pop stars (random examples, of course) and if you're lucky, a few super bowls.

Fantasy football, by its very nature, goes against the virtue of team support. It is about the support of individual players and units from a variety of teams. The fantasy "teams" consist of a hodgepodge of players from your real team, to even your most hated rival. For instance, how could one be a, say, Cowboys fan, and put Eli Manning on his fantasy team? How can you want him, and, by extension, his team to do well when that success so clearly impacts the fate of your own real team?

I recognize that it is unrealistic to believe that fans would like only the players on their own team. A Cowboys fan may also like football heroes such as Brett Favre, or school favorites such as Adrian Peterson or Sam Bradford. But do these extrafranchise affairs have to be commodified and packaged with a blatant disregard to your true team? The support of one's enemy is essentially made into a sport of its own. And for personal gain, no less. A college football fan, say, of the Sooners, would never put Garrett Gilbert on his fantasy team in a college fantasy league (Sidenote: I believe college fantasy football to be absolutely treacherous and ridiculous, so I won't even address it, as it has not reached the epidemic level of the NFL version). Again, the essence of the sport is team. Team unity. Team loyalty. Fantasy football fractures this loyalty.

I also recognize that not every fan has grown up with a team loyalty. Some may only follow the league for their favorite collegiate players, who have no doubt dispersed to a variety of teams. Others may just be casual fans who watch just to see a higher level of talent in football and may not identify with a particular team. These "fringe" watchers have some justification for fantasy participation, as the basis of their fandom is largely individualistic anyways.

As a final note, I would like to tackle (pun semi-intended) the fallacy of fantasy. These fantasy leagues are just that- fantasy- read: not real. These self-created teams will never actually come into existence. These average joe constructs are no better than the Romeo and Juliet drivel Taylor Swift sings about. John Doe is no Jerry Jones, no matter how much his beer-toting buddies may extol his fantasy draft choices. And just because one refers to his fantasy team more frequently than anyone cares to hear about it, it cannot and will not become an actual team any more than Angelina Jolie will become his girlfriend just because he refers to her as such. Fantasy football is no more than its name suggests.

So THAT is why I do not support fantasy football. Not because of some clingy, needy desire to tear a man a way from football. I like to think of it more as a clinging to the reality of football. The game that I (yes, I, a woman!) love. Next week I'll tackle theories about global warming and world peace. By the way, feel free to comment, especially if you feel differently! I'm sure some and/or many of you do. This is a marketplace of ideas, and I will blatantly disregard your divergent opinions as equally as I can. :)

The Empire Strikes Back

The evil empire has returned. The one that doles out indispensable axioms about fairy tales in the form of varied pitch recordings sometimes referred to as "music." Yes, it turns out Taylor Swift's latest single has leaked early. Greeeeat. 'Cuz that's all I've ever wanted... more T. Swift in my life. I have sampled said latest tune, and as expected, it sounds juuust like every other Taylor song. So in honor of her new release, I've created a little game I'd like to call, "Taylor's Tunes Or Belle's Ballads?" It's really easy- you just guess in each pairing which one are the actual lyrics to a Taylor Swift song, and which ones I made up.

1.

The hurt runs deep as that river bed/ where we sat and I laid my head/

on your shoulder, a love so sweet/ now i don't know if this heart will beat/again

When you think happiness/I hope you think that little black dress
Think of my head on your chest/And my old faded blue jeans

2.

So I drive home alone/as I turn out the light/
I'll put his picture down/ and maybe Get some sleep tonight

I love that boy with the sweet, sweet smile/I try to catch his eye so we can talk awhile/

But he walks away, he turns his head/ So I sit and dream of what I would have said

3.

In my fairytale story our love is forever/In this story our love is grand/

Always sunny skies and perfect weather/and you gently take my hand

Today was a fairytale/All that I can say/
Is now it's getting so much clearer/Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face

4.

Dreaming about the day/When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for/Has been here the whole time

It shoulda been me, why wasn't it us/lyin in the back of your pickup truck/

watchin the stars light up the night sky/but you chose her and drove on by

So I think the point I'm trying to make here is that even a heart of stone such as myself can write Swift-esque lyrics. Ge.Ner.Ic! But don't worry, the radio waves will soon be (over)saturated with authentic Taylor Tunes when her new album drops in the next couple of months. I will spend the meantime basking in the absence of Taylor mania until this peaceful time dwindles into some warbled fairy tale tune.

For the record, Belle's Ballads were: 1) 1st one. 2) second one. 3) first one. 4) second one.

The End of an Era

Well, as they say, all good things must come to an end. The times they are a-change-in.' A stitch in time saves nine. Jk I don't really even know what that last one means, but I figured while I was throwin' out random cliches...

Anyways, the transition of the world from the clutches of JoBro love to the onset of Beiber Fever should have been a major harbinger of change to come. I mean, does anybody watch Jonas: LA? Didn't think soooo. But enough about heartthrobs with gender-ambiguous hairdos. What I'm really talking about is the change happening for two of my favorite, shall we say, "stately elders" of the sporting world. They would of course be Brett Favre and Mike Modano. And while this is completely irrelevant to their stories or situations, may I say I think both of these 40 year old men are smokin' hott- the Clooney's of the sporting world! Yeah, I said it.

I'll start with Modano. This man has been the face of Dallas Stars hockey. Literally. He has been a member of the team since before the franchise even moved to Dallas, and has been with the franchise for more than 20 years! He was even in the Mighty Ducks movie! That makes him big time in my book.

Now, I haven't been an avid hockey watcher since the strike (before that hockey was on in my house 3+ nights a week), so I can't speak to Modano's level of play as of late. But how is this team, that he has done so much for, going to go and just kick him to the curb? I would expect some backlash from Stars fans. Not to mention that this was done to him by his former teammate, current GM Joe Nieuwendyk! That's kind of a slap in the face to someone who helped the team win a Stanley Cup there, Joe. I understand you want to rejuvenate the franchise, but if the guy wants another year, you could just give him his due.

Now instead he's going off to the dreaded Red Wings. I mean, good for him. They are THE premiere team of hockey. I mean it's Hockeytown, for gosh sakes! That's a little bit sickening though, to think of Modano in a Red Wings uniform.

And then, there's Favre. The man. The myth. The Wranglers. I have said it before, and I'll say it again. I love Brett Favre! He is such a talent- the pure definition of a gunslinger. High risk, high reward. And he plays with a youthful love of the game despite his many, many years in the league.

It has been strange to see how the past few years have played out for him- from teary retirement (the tears were def. mutual), to a mediocre season with the Jets, to re-retirement, to a magical, MAGICAL season with the Vikings. Had a play or two gone a different way, they could have been in the Super Bowl. So it's hard for me to accept that he's retiring again. Partly because I don't believe he will, but mostly because I don't want to believe that he will. I don't want to see the excitement of what he can do come to an end! It is so special to watch him play the game, and he is truly still one of the greatest.

One has to wonder what he's thinking. Is his ankle not fully rehabbed? Is he biding his time to perhaps wait out training camp? Does he want to go out with his legacy still very much intact and not risk a bad season? Will the quest to win it all one more time with a very viable team eventually outweigh his physical exhaustion? You have to think that if he was 100% he would come back. Why else go through off-season surgery? I'm not sure whether it is truly in his best interest to come back or not. I will just be interested to see whether come game time, Favre trots out onto the field or sits up in a press box somewhere.

So it's a changing of the guard everywhere we look, it would seem. Maybe it's time for Romo to step up and become a new NFL hero. He's going into his fourth starting season- which is supposed to be the Super Bowl season for all the greats, at least according to the Complete Idiot's Guide to Football. A home Super Bowl suuuuuure would be dandy. And by dandy, I mean really, really freakin' awesome.

I'm sure you're also thinking, shouldn't I be touting the newly-anointed $50 million dollar man to become an instant NFL legend? No way, that's too much to ask of a fetus of an NFL qb with a shaky o-line, even if he's making enough money to pay off my OU tuition like a billion times over (hey, I have a PR degree not a math degree, ok?). But the time will come when I hope he will take up that mantle, and usher in a new era of awesomeness. Out with the old, in with the new. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. If you liked it than you shoulda put a ring on it (hint hint, Sam Bradford. I'm waiting!). Wa. Ah. Oh!